RECOVERY STORY OF THE MONTH
Sobriety Date: October 12, 2021
This is my story, and the truth of the matter is that my story is not over. I grew up wearing many different hats per say very early on. I was raised in four different homes, maybe all in one week. There’s a saying…. “never feeling like I belonged.” Well, I knew that feeling at age five, and I never had an identity for myself either. I do know that I dreamed about living with my mom and sisters my whole life. I always thought I did something, and that is why I couldn’t stay with them.
I was exposed to a lot of things that a child should not have been. Sex, money, and drugs is what my parents were about. Soon enough, it would also be my lifestyle, and I certainly had the traits of an alcoholic before I knew that I was one.
… I certainly had the traits of an alcoholic before I knew that I was one.
I started to want to alter my mind, suppress feelings, and be anything other than myself at the age of twelve. I would remain like that for the next 30 years. (I just had one year of sobriety on 10-12-21.) I would do anything that anyone offered. Everything was fair game. I used my math skills on the street to make money, and that was an addiction. One of my relapses was because I thought I would be able to make more money doing that now that I’m sober. And here’s where my thinking took me — I’m broke, so let me sell you something. I had a surgery in high school and was given pain meds and immediately I loved them. I wanted more.
I did very well in school, and I liked to play sports, although I didn’t like when my parents didn’t show up to them. It was an outlet among other things. I graduated high school early, and I played soccer. I was dating who I thought was the love of my life at that time. We were high school sweethearts. He moved in with me, and I was about five months pregnant, and we lost the baby. But my family had already said I was getting married because I got pregnant, so the wedding still went on. I was only 20 years old.
I had my daughter, Mariah, and a few years later my son Caden came along. My husband cheated, and I knew right there and then to file for divorce. I took my kids, and we went to California where my mom and sisters lived, because, like I stated before, that’s all I ever wanted. I became a single mom. I love my kids more than anything, but I can remember when I couldn’t stop using for them.
… so I began my road to overdoses, comas, jails, broken cars, broken relationships, hurting people, and much more.
As I grew closer with my mom, we became running buddies. Things became very co-dependent and toxic between us. She ended up passing away, and I just had no clue how to cope, so I began my road to overdoses, comas, jails, broken cars, broken relationships, hurting people, and much more. My thinking was so delusional. I was on a suicide mission. I came back to Ohio with my children and got arrested for my last time and was sentenced to Jean Marie House in 2015.
Sobriety looks so much better on me than what out there has to offer. I have a lot of support and love through the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous. I am grateful today because the steps have changed my life. I now have a God of my own understanding which I never did before. The Jean Marie house has been here for me since 2015. Katie Patton, the Director, is one of the best human beings ever because she is the one person that has never given up on me. I just moved out of JMH two days ago and I have mixed emotions right now. It’s not easy! My kids are still the best kids, and they make me proud. I just keep a routine and do what’s hard. My story is not over yet…