RECOVERY STORY OF THE MONTH!
Sobriety Date: October 26, 2012
I’m Angel, and I’m an alcoholic. This is my story. I grew up on the rough streets of Parma Heights. I was raised by my mom and my grandparents. I was spoiled rotten and had a great childhood. When I was eight, my mom married my dad. We did not get along at all. We fought for my mom’s attention. My brother and sister came along shortly after. They were ok, but all the attention was no longer on me. Selfish and self-centered before I ever picked up a drink.
My teenage years were uneventful. I was bad and always grounded. When I turned 18 I had my son, graduated from high school and cosmetology, got my drivers license, and got married. It was around this time I picked up my first drink. I had a couple wine coolers and got drunk and I couldn’t wait to do it again. I could do or say what I wanted and blame it on being drunk.
A few years later I was driving down Brookpark Road and pulled up to a red light and met the love of my life. I was already married though, that was a problem. I am selfish and I wanted him. The next several months were crazy, but we ended up together and still are today.
I thought I was a good mom because I would put my son to bed and have a random neighbor kid stay at the house before I went out drinking.
Needless to say he drank like I did, and we spent all of our time at the bar. I thought I was a good mom because I would put my son to bed and have a random neighbor kid stay at the house before I went out drinking. I couldn’t get up in the morning, so he would get his own cereal and watch cartoons. My mom took him one day to scare me, showing me that anyone could take him. I put a chain lock on the door, and then I figured that wasn’t enough, so we moved to Georgia.
Those days were one big party. When they say your entertainment is a six pack and a bug zapper, it’s true. We had 3 of our 4 kids, and most of the time we couldn’t keep propane in the tank or the electric on. We drank every night. My husband got his CDL (commercial driver’s license) so we moved back to Ohio. We had custody of all four kids during the school year, and we were weekend warriors during this time.
Some years went by and the kids were teenagers. They were back with their mom at this time and only came over on weekends. We got bored and started going to the bars again. No reason to think I couldn’t handle it. At this time I started doing other forms of alcohol. Things got really bad really quick. We lost the house, everything in it. The jobs, the cars and worst of all the kids. My mom took my son and the other three wanted nothing to do with us.
The next several years were horrible. Jails, institutions, and walking the streets all day to get alcohol. Most of the time we didn’t have a car. My relationship with God consisted of praying for help and then when I would go to jail promising to never do it again. Nothing and no one mattered but getting drunk. It was my only thought all day everyday. I was introduced to AA throughout this time and went to rehab a few times but wasn’t willing to do what it took. I got a couple pocket sponsors and tried to work some steps but I wasn’t ready. One of my sponsors wrote in my notebook “Tony is not your higher power.” Man was she right. As soon as they said you should separate from your husband I left. No way I was willing to do that.
One of my sponsors wrote in my notebook “Tony is not your higher power.” Man was she right.
2012 was the beginning of the end. My husband was doing six months in jail and I had started calling a place called the Jean Marie House because Bonnie without Clyde is hard. Finally I got the call and my sobriety date is October 26th, 2012. I stayed at the Jean Marie House for almost two years. And this time I was finally willing to do the work. I got a sponsor who took me through the steps, and I took suggestions. This included not having any contact with my husband, and I was finally willing to listen and do it. After several months we started dating. We have been married for 26 years so that was weird, but it worked and we are both sober today. I built my support group strong and still have those relationships today. We got the cars and the jobs and even bought a house but most importantly we have relationships with family and the kids. Our oldest son is not ready yet and has our grandchild we have never met, but we have faith that someday it will happen. We have great relationships with the other three kids and have a granddaughter that never has to see us drunk. My son got married a few years back, and I came home that night fully dressed, earrings, shoes and all.
I keep well my beginnings and pray every morning and night and all day. I realize when I look back on my life God has always looked out for me. I build my relationship with him daily. I make my bed everyday (when there isn’t a cat in it). I meditate and go to meetings and sponsor. I am on the advisory board for the Ed Keating Center to raise money for the places that help so many on the path to sobriety. I am treasurer of my homegroup. I tell my story when asked and do what I am asked because I owe. I do these things to stay sober and do my best to practice these principles in all my affairs.