RECOVERY STORY OF THE MONTH
Sobriety Date: August 26, 2020
My name is Ryan and I’m an alcoholic. I know that because I tried everything to stop drinking and couldn’t. I couldn’t drink in moderation, switching brands did nothing, and my will power was not enough to stop. I lied, cheated, stole and manipulated everyone around me to get what I wanted.
Roughly ten years ago I was introduced to A.A.. I wish I could say that I stayed sober but I was unwilling to take suggestions. I suffer from schizophrenia and was a danger to myself and others. I was unwilling to really look at my mental state. I compared myself out of the rooms time and time again. I went to hospital after hospital, detoxes, psychiatric wards, and jails. It became clear my only other option was certain death.
I was homeless and wandering aimlessly unmedicated. I was living in a parking lot next to another treatment center. Still unwilling to tell the truth to myself and others. I hated who I had become. I had been in and out of the Keating Center several times. I didn’t follow rules,I had a negative attitude and hated everything about treatment. In reality I hated myself.
I was asked if I was ready, in tears I replied “I am.” At that point I realized I had surrendered.
When I entered the Keating Center on August 26th of 2020 I still wasn’t convinced that anything would be different. I was broken and battered.I was in a horrific physical and mental state. I was asked if I was ready, in tears I replied “I am.” At that point I realized I had surrendered.
In a very short time I got a sponsor and started working the steps. I participated In groups regularly. I opened up and was honest about my feelings and thoughts. I started to feel better.
I began to pray to a God of my understanding. I meditated regularly, working hard to stay in the present.
Things began to change for me, the promises that seemed so far out of reach started coming true. I built a support group of men from meetings and from the Rock. I took suggestions followed by action. I began to pray to a God of my understanding. I meditated regularly, working hard to stay in the present.
I gave back however small the gesture was at the time, remaining grateful for the gift of another waking day. A day to try to be a better human and to help someone. The Keating Center gave me the resources I so desperately needed in early sobriety and continues to provide for me in so many ways.
I still live at a 3/4 house affiliated with the Keating Center and am proud to say I’m the house father and help to be responsible for 8 other guys. It’s an amazing blessing to be trusted and to have an honest sense of self worth.
I have three children whom I had become estranged with during active addiction. My oldest son is almost eighteen. For sixteen years of his life, I had nothing to do with him through my own selfish choices. Through the miracle of this program I have contact with him and am actively building a relationship. I’m a son, friend and sponsor today. I’m a miracle of this program and God’s divine grace. I sincerely thank the Ed Keating Center for giving me the tools to start this journey and for showing me what A.A. really is.