RECOVERY STORY OF THE MONTH

Hi my name is Michele T. and I am an Alcoholic. My sobriety date is 6/22/2010, I have a home group, a sponsor, a God of my understanding, I apply the 12 steps in my life, and because of that I have an incredibly wonderful life. Not a problem free life, but today I am Free!

I grew up on the west side of Cleveland to two parents, and a sister two years older than me. We were afforded the best of everything, but somehow I never felt like it was enough or I was not enough. I always felt out of place.

I had my first drunk when I was 14 years old. It was something I had wanted to do and the day had finally come. From day one I drank to excess. I blacked out, got sick, and got caught. My punishment the next day was studying with my dad, which was severe to me, because I didn’t like studying or school. That day, all I thought about was how I felt the night before. The effect produced by alcohol for me was amazing, and I couldn’t wait to be able to do it again. I was not able to drink whenever I wanted, but I certainly did as much as possible.

From day one I drank to excess. I blacked out, got sick, and got caught.

By the time I was 16 I was pregnant and getting kicked out of catholic school. My sister was graduating and going off to college. Then there was me, the disappointment of the family, added to my feelings of being different. I wanted to be a good mom like my mom was, but alcohol would soon become my master, and nothing in life was nearly as important as the way I felt.

In this time I got married to someone like me, although he didn’t drink, he did “other things”. I got jobs in bars, which was a great way to live for an alcoholic like me. My parents were taking good care of my daughter so I was able to justify that I was doing fine. I was not! I drank basically around the clock. I couldn’t live with alcohol, and couldn’t live without alcohol. I could not hold a job or be of any use to anyone. I entered my first detox and went to the women’s Freedom House for 30 days. I felt like I was cured. I was told about aa, a sponsor, meetings, and steps. I applied nothing. It did not take long, I knew I could not drink so I began to do “other things”. It was like starting over. I loved the affect and that would become my life again.

I felt like I was cured. I was told about aa, a sponsor, meetings, and steps. I applied nothing.

For years I lived in darkness, I did not know how to live without something in my system. Life became very hard again. We decided we were going to move to the beach and that would make life great. Little did I know how bad it was going to become. I believed that it was willpower to stop and my husband had it, but I did not. I felt like I got cured before so I tried again. Off to detox again and then I thought 30 days at Maggie’s House.

My alcoholism had progressed and I felt like I couldn’t do it and only spent a few days before I manipulated my family to come get me, and home I went. Within hours I was right back to my normal. That was October of 2009, and in November of 2009 I woke up and my husband did not. I believed I was truly alone. I never knew how dark it would get. I was back where I started originally and couldn’t live with it, and I couldn’t live without it.

By June of 2010 I was at the jumping off point the book talks about. Pitiful Incomprehensible Demoralization! I wanted to die and couldn’t. I was off to detox again. They mentioned in-patient and I said “nope I’ve tried that it doesn’t work”. It was me that didn’t work. After detox I went back out, because it was my only solution. That final weekend I put my family through hell, may I never forget! That Monday I was supposed to go to Jean Marie House, but I had to go drink because I was powerless and extremely selfish.

It was not easy, but I continued, and life became so good, better than I ever thought.

I did go to JMH that day on 6/21/2010. My life was about to completely change…Thank You GOD! It was not easy, but I continued and life became so good, better than I ever thought. I met the love of my life in here and got married. I get to have a dream job at the house I went through and help others just like me! God is so good!! Today I’m a Mom, Grandma, Aunt, Daughter, Sister, and Friend. I owe all I have to God, AA, and The Ed Keating Center. Eternally grateful!