RECOVERY STORY OF THE MONTH!
Sobriety Date: January 3, 2019
My name is Matt M and I’m an alcoholic/junkie. I have a sobriety date of 01/03/2019, a sponsor, a higher power, and a support group that cares more about my life than my feelings!! “Very Important” I come from a blue-collar family that was loving and caring. I grew up in Brunswick, Ohio. There is alcoholism in my family and we lived by a motto of work hard, play hard. Which I took to a whole other level.
Growing up, there was always something a little off about me. I started lying, stealing, and manipulating at a very young age, before drinking alcohol and drugs. When I was around 8-9 yrs old, something terrible happened to me that should never happen to any child. It made me become very angry and fearful. I know that in elementary school, I got into a lot of fights and had to be put into special classes.
When I got into middle school and high school, that was when a huge change occurred. I was still getting into a bunch of fights and I could manipulate my way out of trouble ‘cause I excelled at sports. Then came the day I discovered alcohol and drugs. I felt at peace and like I belonged. Soon after that, sports became secondary.
I kept getting into trouble at school, so they put me into a work/tutor program. I had to go to school for 3 periods a day, then go to work and back to school for football/baseball practices. Needless to say, that didn’t work out so well. I was drunk or high and didn’t make it to practice. Sports became secondary. My parents and school tried everything to get me back on track. I was doing what I wanted to do, and no one could tell me otherwise.
I somehow got a diploma and my tutor took all my tests. I had no interest in school. This is where I took work hard/ play hard to the next level. I discovered some substances that would let me drink as long as I wanted. LSD/Cocaine. I started going to the Flats Thursday-Sunday. Amid all this, I was learning a trade. I was in and out of jail with disorderly conduct, assault, possession of drugs, and DUI. I got introduced to AA at age 15-16, but I was just young and had bad luck per my family.
Then came the night I met the mother of my beautiful daughter. We were together all the time. I worked at my trade during the day and I would work at the club with her at night. I felt like I had arrived–work all day, party all night. Then we found out she was pregnant, and this is when things spun totally out of control. She asked me to stop partying and I could not.
This was where I was introduced to the Keating center. I was 20 years old and in treatment, wondering how the hell I ended up here. I didn’t stay sober. In fact, this was the start of a 20-year span of going in and out of treatment centers. During that time, I became a person who no one wanted around. I would lie, cheat, steal, and manipulate anyone that I came into contact with.
At this time, my family had to show me tough love and cut me off. Which I was very resentful about. I also caught a case and got sentenced to four years in prison. During this time, I did not see my daughter. When I got released from prison, I saw my daughter 3-4 times, and then I was up to my old B.S. again. Tough love was back in full swing.
I received a text from my 15-year-old daughter saying “I want my F*&%ing dad back!”
For the next few years, I didn’t see anyone in my family. Then came New Year’s Eve of 2014. I’m drunk and strung out on heroin. I received a text from my 15-year-old daughter saying “I want my F*&%ing dad back!” I don’t know exactly what clicked in my brain, but something did. So I walked to the rock and asked Marty for a bed and he actually said No. I’d abused my privilege. He was not lying, but at the time I did not think that. I actually had some choice words in my head going on. So I left and got in some trouble with more people. Came back and asked Marty again and told him I probably wasn’t gonna make it much longer. He said “go get your haircut and sleep on the floor A#$hole.” Which I did and started me on my first journey of actually working these steps and becoming a member of AA. I’m so grateful for Marty and our friendship!
For the next few years, life was good, and I was rebuilding relationships and learning how to live in certain areas of my life. But I was not working on everything. A couple of my character defects were out of control. My support group, family, and employer saw I was not living right. Money, Ego, and page 69 of the B.B. were the character defects glaring. So I got drunk again! Everything came crashing down again, and I literally felt like I could never make it back to the rooms.
So I got drunk again! Everything came crashing down again, and I literally felt like I could never make it back to the rooms.
Thank god for my support group and the Keating center. I made it back to the rock. This is when I started the path of recovery again. This time through the steps and this process. I have to stay small, open-minded, and in the process. It’s a daily reprieve. Continue to work on myself, especially my character defects. What I do today is still the same thing I did when I came back. I talk to my sponsor and support group about what is going on in my life. I go to meetings; I have commitments. I sponsor when asked; I do service work. I try to be a better person than I was the day before continual spiritual growth. AA, Keating Center, Family, and Friends never gave up on me! It might not have been the way I wanted it to be, but thank God that it is the way it was. Today I have a life! I have a God of my understanding, a relationship with my daughter that is amazing, a beautiful fiance and family, a support group, and a career that is unbelievable! But most importantly, I have peace, serenity, all blessings, and promises from the 12 steps of AA. Keep on Keeping on!