Sobriety Date: January 7, 2021
My name is Kerri, and I am an alcoholic. My sobriety date is January 7, 2021. I felt defined by my past trauma’s. Hopeless, insecure, invaluable, and like I had no purpose in my life. Everyday my life was consumed in one thought. How, can I not feel? Everyday thought moment and action involved feeding my addiction. The hunger was never satisfied.
This identity changed on February 3, 2021. On this day I became a resident at the Jean Marie House. I began to repair my relationship with my Higher Power (GOD) and myself. Jean Marie House provided me with the resources and opportunities to build an amazing support group within the AA community. My life has done nothing but get better since that day.
I began to repair my relationship with my Higher Power (GOD) and myself.
Everyday I have many struggles and face many demons from my past. I no longer run from them. I put on my armor and ride into battle which consists of me walking through the fire without getting burnt. My armor includes the growing relationship I have with my GOD, my support group, and countless coping skills that I have acquired along the way.
My childhood and adult life were filled with trauma that I remained imprisoned in. Working the 12 steps made me realize I now have the power to use my past experiences to help other people struggling instead of being held hostage by them.
I used my addiction, relationships, and denial to fill a void only God could fill.
Comparing myself to others is one of my biggest battles. I would constantly think I was irreparable because of my past. I still battle these same thoughts, however, now I have an army of women that love me and the twelve steps to guide me out of the darkness into the light. Most of all I have my relationship with God. Every morning I surrender myself to Him. I ask for His will, guidance, and transformation in my heart and mind. I thank Him for a solution. I used my addiction, relationships, and denial to fill a void only God could fill. This void is filled by love, helping others, and the twelve steps. I now know it is bigger than me and my circumstances. AA and the Jean Marie House have saved my life. They have given me a new identity.
I still have a lot of work to do. I have two adult children that I have not seen in six years. I will restore and repair my relationship with them in God’s time, not mine. Today I have hope and love. Today my pain has purpose!